Saturday, 7 January 2012
Saturday, 15 October 2011
MAY AS WELL BLESS DYKES!!
Great video featuring the esteemable Senator David Norris, an openly gay statesman who is running for the Irish Presidency. He would be a marvellous presence in Aras an Uchtarain (Ireland's White House):
Sunday, 18 September 2011
GAY PEOPLE 'AT RISK OF A LONELIER OLD AGE'
Here's a sobering report from the polling organisation 'You Gov' which has been commissioned by Stonewall on the bleak plight facing older LGBT folk in the UK. The full report is available for download at http://www.stonewall.org.uk/laterlife, but here's a summary of the findings as reported in The Guardian newspaper by Jamie Doward:
"Gay men and women in Britain are far more likely to end up living alone and have less contact with family in later life than heterosexual people, according to a groundbreaking report that raises significant questions for how society responds to their needs.
The report, the first of its kind, has implications for GPs, health and social services at a time when Britain's population is ageing. It is estimated that there are a million lesbian, gay and bisexual people in Britain over the age of 55.
A YouGov survey, commissioned by the campaign group Stonewall, found that older gay and bisexual men are three times more likely to be single than heterosexual men.
Just over a quarter of gay and bisexual men and half of lesbian and bisexual women have children compared with almost nine in every 10 heterosexual men and women. They were also less likely to see biological family members regularly. Less than a quarter of LGB people see their biological family members at least once a week, compared with more than half of heterosexual people according to the survey of 1,050 heterosexual and 1,036 LGB people over the age of 55.
"This pioneering research confirms what we already knew intuitively, that there are hundreds of thousands of lesbian and gay people growing older without the same family and support structures that many straight people enjoy," said Ben Summerskill, chief executive of Stonewall. "Quite often, that's because their own families have disowned them just because of the way they were born."
The prospect of impending loneliness is a recurring theme among those interviewed for the report. "As a single gay man, I feel sad about my prospects of finding emotional comfort and support," Michael, 60, told interviewers.
Paul, 59, said: "My gayness makes me less connected to my biological family who would otherwise look out for me."
The prospects of a solitary old age may be one explanation for why the survey suggests LGB people are consistently more anxious about growing older than heterosexual people.
With diminished support networks compared to their heterosexual peers, they are more likely to rely on formal support services as they get older. Stonewall's report found they were nearly twice as likely to rely on external services such as GPs and social services as heterosexual people. But many worried that the services would not meet their needs. Three in five are not confident that support services will meet their needs.
Some 72% of LGB people said they were worried about the prospect of needing care later in life, compared with 62% of heterosexual people. Half said they were worried about housing compared with 39% of heterosexual people while 69% were worried about their health compared with 59% of heterosexual people.
Frank, 64, said: "I worry about my partner becoming ill or dying, and about leaving him alone if I die first."
James, 55, said: "Being gay and getting older is like not being gay and getting older but difficulties are magnified."
Their fears are compounded by their lifestyles. Gay people are far more likely to drink alcohol regularly, take drugs and have a history of mental health problems than heterosexual people.
But despite these concerns many would feel uncomfortable about revealing their sexuality to those who work in the public health and support sector. Nearly half said they would be uncomfortable about coming out to care home staff and a third would be uncomfortable coming out to a housing provider or a paid carer.
"For the first time this generation of ageing gay people fully expects to be treated with respect by both public and commercial service providers," Summerskill said.
"They want to be able to share a room in an old people's home or to be supported through their partner's terminal illness just like anyone else."
Summerskill expressed concern that Britain's care system failed to recognise that not all couples were the same.
"We're facing a care time bomb of institutional ignorance about what a community that makes a £40bn a year contribution to public services will soon – quite properly – be demanding."
The report, the first of its kind, has implications for GPs, health and social services at a time when Britain's population is ageing. It is estimated that there are a million lesbian, gay and bisexual people in Britain over the age of 55.
A YouGov survey, commissioned by the campaign group Stonewall, found that older gay and bisexual men are three times more likely to be single than heterosexual men.
Just over a quarter of gay and bisexual men and half of lesbian and bisexual women have children compared with almost nine in every 10 heterosexual men and women. They were also less likely to see biological family members regularly. Less than a quarter of LGB people see their biological family members at least once a week, compared with more than half of heterosexual people according to the survey of 1,050 heterosexual and 1,036 LGB people over the age of 55.
"This pioneering research confirms what we already knew intuitively, that there are hundreds of thousands of lesbian and gay people growing older without the same family and support structures that many straight people enjoy," said Ben Summerskill, chief executive of Stonewall. "Quite often, that's because their own families have disowned them just because of the way they were born."
The prospect of impending loneliness is a recurring theme among those interviewed for the report. "As a single gay man, I feel sad about my prospects of finding emotional comfort and support," Michael, 60, told interviewers.
Paul, 59, said: "My gayness makes me less connected to my biological family who would otherwise look out for me."
The prospects of a solitary old age may be one explanation for why the survey suggests LGB people are consistently more anxious about growing older than heterosexual people.
With diminished support networks compared to their heterosexual peers, they are more likely to rely on formal support services as they get older. Stonewall's report found they were nearly twice as likely to rely on external services such as GPs and social services as heterosexual people. But many worried that the services would not meet their needs. Three in five are not confident that support services will meet their needs.
Some 72% of LGB people said they were worried about the prospect of needing care later in life, compared with 62% of heterosexual people. Half said they were worried about housing compared with 39% of heterosexual people while 69% were worried about their health compared with 59% of heterosexual people.
Frank, 64, said: "I worry about my partner becoming ill or dying, and about leaving him alone if I die first."
James, 55, said: "Being gay and getting older is like not being gay and getting older but difficulties are magnified."
Their fears are compounded by their lifestyles. Gay people are far more likely to drink alcohol regularly, take drugs and have a history of mental health problems than heterosexual people.
But despite these concerns many would feel uncomfortable about revealing their sexuality to those who work in the public health and support sector. Nearly half said they would be uncomfortable about coming out to care home staff and a third would be uncomfortable coming out to a housing provider or a paid carer.
"For the first time this generation of ageing gay people fully expects to be treated with respect by both public and commercial service providers," Summerskill said.
"They want to be able to share a room in an old people's home or to be supported through their partner's terminal illness just like anyone else."
Summerskill expressed concern that Britain's care system failed to recognise that not all couples were the same.
"We're facing a care time bomb of institutional ignorance about what a community that makes a £40bn a year contribution to public services will soon – quite properly – be demanding."
AGEING DIFFERENCES
■ 40% of gay and bisexual men over 55 are single, compared with 15% of heterosexual men.
■ 41% of lesbian, gay and bisexual people over 55 live alone compared with 28% of heterosexual people.
■ 8% of lesbian, gay and bisexual people over 55 see members of their family a few times a week compared with 21% of heterosexual people.
■ 15% of lesbian, gay and bisexual people over 70 work compared with 6% of heterosexual people.
■ 9% of lesbian, gay and bisexual people over 55 have taken drugs within the last year, compared with 2% of heterosexual people.
Wednesday, 12 January 2011
NEW: THE LG SEX FILES
Let’s not get too excited about this. LG isn’t about to launch a XXX repository here.
The LG Sex Files is a new site section where we can discuss some of the details of man on man sex and address the typical concerns and insecurities of lately gay men as they start over and work out what happens when the holding hands stage is over.
Issues discussed include the techniques of kissing, the top and bottom of sex, first-night nerves and doing it al fresco.
I make no claims that the content within is definitive and I'm certainly no Alfred Kinsey. It's just a series of observations with some of my personal experiences thrown in.
SM/LG
I make no claims that the content within is definitive and I'm certainly no Alfred Kinsey. It's just a series of observations with some of my personal experiences thrown in.
SM/LG
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
2011 - IS THIS THE YEAR YOU LEAVE YOUR WIFE?
Well, that’s a bald question and a half, isn’t it? Chances are, if you’ve asked yourself the question of late, then you’ve already done some serious thinking about it, and you’re probably into the early stages of planning an exit.
One possibility is that you blurt it all out over dinner one evening and you quit by the next stagecoach out of town. Or, there’s the scenario where you suggest an exit point at some point in the not too distant future. Alternatively, you may have considered the option of staying in the marriage as an ‘out’ gay man.
What is pretty certain though is that you’ve been running a dialogue in your head for a long time and it is only in the latter stages that you are planning to involve your spouse. Maybe, she’s stacking the dishwasher or helping one of the kids with an assignment as you’re reading this, just getting on with the everyday work of providing for her family.
Possibly, she has some inkling of your inner torment. Possibly she is blissfully unaware.
Well, here at LG we could perhaps advise you as follows: (a) tell her right now, (b) make a clean break there and then, (c) run, run and keep on running, (d) go wild, go crazy, go all out gay.
Or do we advise you accordingly: (1) give her all the time in the world, (2) support and nurture her through this difficult time, (3) keep the family together and maintain a semblance of family life, (4) accept that your dream of a true, gay life is the light at the end of a long tunnel.
Truth is, the answer possibly lies somewhere between these two extremes.
This isn’t the time for a sledgehammer approach, but equally you’ll never get the omelette made without breaking some eggs.
You want to be kind and caring, but eventually you are planning to leave your partner anyway.
This is probably the most difficult and grown up thing that will happen to you in your life and there is no ‘app’ you can download to your cellphone that will see you though it.
We can suggest, though, that this is a time for maturity. A time for honesty and integrity, for being true to yourself and to your family, and for facing up to the difficult decisions that lie ahead.
So, if you feel 2011 is going to be your year of change, then make it happen. Your journey has begun.
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
NEW - SHIP'S DIARY
For me in 2003 I decided to run away to sea. Hoping for a truly gay experience I joined a big cruise line as one of their Entertainments Officers.
Like any good wannabe Robinson Crueso I made sure to maintain a journal and I present a first instalment here.
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